Most of us know the frustration of trying to change a habit. We tell ourselves that on Monday morning, we will magically transform our diet, stop procrastinating, or completely break an old habit through sheer willpower. When we inevitably slip up a couple of weeks later, we label ourselves a failure and abandon the goal entirely. This resource is designed to help you understand how change actually works so you can work with your momentum, not against it.
The Spiral Staircase of Growth
Contrary to our black-and-white thinking, change is not a straight line or a dramatic leap from “doing” to “not doing,” or vice versa. It is an ongoing cycle, and nobody gets it right 100% of the time.
Psychologists refer to this continuous, predictable cycle as the Stages of Change (formally, the Transtheoretical Model). The core idea is simple: real growth behaves less like an on-off light switch and more like a spiral staircase. You move upward through distinct psychological phases, and circling back to a previous step isn't a failure—it’s a completely normal part of the journey.
Mapping Your Place on the Steps
To successfully change any behavior, you must first identify exactly where you are standing on the staircase:
- Precontemplation & Contemplation (Thinking About It): Early on, you move from denying a problem exists to sitting squarely on the fence. In this contemplative stage, you are weighing the pros and cons of changing. You may feel hesitant, conflicted, or just not ready.
- Preparation & Action (Doing It): Preparation is when you gather your tools, pick a definitive start date, and build a concrete plan. Action is the highly visible, high-energy phase where you actively alter your behavior. This step requires massive amounts of mental focus and environmental support.
- Maintenance & Relapse (Sustaining It): Maintenance is the quiet work of turning a new action into an enduring, automatic habit. When a relapse occurs, you experience a setback—a temporary detour on the staircase, offering valuable clues on how to adjust your plan for the next climb.
Meeting Yourself Where You Are
Lasting change happens when we stop fighting our current phase and start working with it. Give yourself permission to plan, adjust, and take small steps. By viewing growth as a continuous cycle rather than a pass-fail test, setbacks become lessons learned and those lessons inform our next phase of growth.
Reference:
Prochaska, J. O., & DiClemente, C. C. (1983). Stages and processes of self-change of smoking: Toward an integrative model of change. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 51(3), 390–395.
